Not a happy camper.

I was in such a good mood

correction- Thankfully I'm a good mood everyday so

I was in my everyday mood when I heard some news.

Family members. medical stuff. not good

and it just makes me sad because I just don't know what to do?

where do I go from here, how can I contribute and make something happen that is worth while?

Do I cry? Do I make you cookies?

Do I blog?

I wish these things didn't happen but is there something I can do to help you?

(is that how I should ask them)

BLAHH

I'm very much in a contemplative place right now and I just hope we can all work through this.

At the end of the day we have to keep living right? Some people get to do great and wonderful things in their lives and others are sick (or they then get to do great and wonderful things while being sick)

I'm just going to offer my help, say I'm sorry, be there, hope for the best.

Pray to...science(?) that they can figure it out and start a blanket because I'll take my cues from southern women who, come hell or high water, have some fantastic quilts, yummy food, and a hand a hold when shit gets tough.

"Give 'em hall Devils!"

My Senior year of college starts Thursday at good ol' ASU.

I have one jam packed Fall semester to look forward to and then after that just one class between me and May commencement.

Next semester I will be hopefully studying for the GREs, and applying to different master's programs, and getting letters of recommendations, filing for financial aid, jumping through rings of fire, and getting my cap and gown.

Driven isn't even a good enough word for how motivated I was to make it this far and yet it somewhat feels surreal that I WILL be graduating this year....

My parents didn't make it past grade school in Mexico.

My mom was 10 when my grandpa died from a gunshot wound and only 15 when she came to the US.

My dad picked cotton from the fields in Mexico and slept on the ground at night looking up at the stars.

My parents met at the orange packing plant that was filled with Mexican immigrant workers working for next to nothing.

My mom was pregnant at my age and would soon after giving birth get pregnant again.

and I'm going to graduate from ASU this May

and I WILL go on to graduate school because if they could do all that for me,

I can do this for me too.

"You dropped the bomb on me, Baby"

via ♥

Yesterday we had a bomb threat at work. (the Albertson's in Tempe)

My boss picked me up and we rode in to find that the entire street was blocked off and a police blockade was up. We parked a couple blocks away and walked up and had to tell about three officers that we worked for Albertson's and needed to go in. We reach the back and see that we got there towards the end of the excitement and see that the threat, in reality, is minimal to none. That's when we start singing super appropriate songs like "You dropped the bomb on me, Baby, you dropped the bomb on me"

My manager is crazy and wild and fun so we joked about going over to the liquor department and making a fallout shelter there.

Work got underway and within an hour costumers were allowed back in but my thoughts were still on what I would do if the threat was real and intense.

If it was a real and serious threat I would be:

calling all my loved ones and saying how I love them

calling all good friends and saying goodbye

forgiving those who have done me wrong

and eventually I really would make my way over to the liquor department

It may seem young and immature to go out drunk as a skunk but if that were an option I'm positive that I wouldn't want to leave this life scared, or worried but with a smile on my face and a drink in my hand.

If that were the case, I would at least like that consolation.

What would you be doing in my case?