Not a happy camper.

I was in such a good mood

correction- Thankfully I'm a good mood everyday so

I was in my everyday mood when I heard some news.

Family members. medical stuff. not good

and it just makes me sad because I just don't know what to do?

where do I go from here, how can I contribute and make something happen that is worth while?

Do I cry? Do I make you cookies?

Do I blog?

I wish these things didn't happen but is there something I can do to help you?

(is that how I should ask them)

BLAHH

I'm very much in a contemplative place right now and I just hope we can all work through this.

At the end of the day we have to keep living right? Some people get to do great and wonderful things in their lives and others are sick (or they then get to do great and wonderful things while being sick)

I'm just going to offer my help, say I'm sorry, be there, hope for the best.

Pray to...science(?) that they can figure it out and start a blanket because I'll take my cues from southern women who, come hell or high water, have some fantastic quilts, yummy food, and a hand a hold when shit gets tough.

sometimes wish

It's Monday and I am already tired. The weekdays are just too long and I'm really feeling exhausted some days. Is it worth it? yes I know it is but sometimes it gets so hard to just keep going...

I sometimes wish my parents weren't immigrants and that we had more money or knowledge when I was growing up...I would mean I wouldn't have to work so hard now

I sometimes wish I didn't have to work and could go out on Tuesday night like I see plenty of other college kids doing

I sometimes wish I could have gotten to live in the dorms and have more a 'normal' going away to college experience

I sometimes wish I didn't have to help raise my nephew, playing babysitter or handing out discipline or checking homework. I didn't sign up to be a part-time mommy at 20

I sometimes wish I could just let loose and forget my responsibilities, get shitfaced like everyone else...

Then I remember how selfish these things sound when I sometimes wish it and remind myself to be grateful for every single opportunity I get.

I thank my mom and dad for coming here and working sometimes horrible jobs and facing deportation and discrimination because they loved their future babies so much that they would do anything to give us a better life

I thank my job for giving me a chance to do something creative and for employing me and working with my school schedule so I can not be a huge financial burden to my family

I thank my parents, brothers and sister, teachers and friends for supporting me in each and every one of my scholastic endeavors. School can be tough but I am so thankful for every book I read, every lecture I go to, and every assignment I have here at ASU. Going to college has been my biggest dream since I was a little girl.

I'm so thankful I have a family that supports me in everything I do and I'm grateful to get to be there for the next generation. It takes a village to raise a child and now that I'm not a child anymore I relish my place as a villager and helping cousins, nieces, and nephews in any way I can.

I thank my mom for making me into a reason filled young women who realizes that at a party with a couple of strong drinks I can have that one night...but with a good education, strong moral fiber, and deep determination I can reach my goals and have for the rest of my life.

Sometimes I get into that woe is me category and start to bring myself down..

♥

this post is to remind me to be grateful and thankful for everything I've had an opportunity to do and the great things I am blessed with in life.

Nobody can hold you back if you don't let them...

not even yourself.

I hope you have a fantastic Monday and have the strength to do great and big things this week.

Halloween Was When???

This post is about a girl who doesn't post Halloween pictures until almost two weeks after Halloween.

She kept getting asked if she had had half the bottle of vodka..

but she keeps it clean (ehh...ehh!!)

and in reality sierra mist alone gets her giddy and in that funky dance mood.

and thinking she is in a top model photo shoot

But that's okay because when this girl starts dancing to beat and singing along, she has family to join in with her (and take pictures)

Some people might call this girl grandma..

but grandma sure can get down... and with just a red cup full of diet coke.

Hope your weekend is fantastic... remember to let loose... and stay clean...