With a heavy heart.

I have been offline for awhile just because I was still trying to understand my time in NYC and write about that but taking my time because school and work and life gets in the way of keeping something like a blog up that need to be something you want to do anyway.

I may be hard to understand and in a very different mood than any other post as well as unsure of myself and what to write.

There has been a death in the family (that is what I keep telling the people I have to call and write to like managers and professors)

To be exact it was my brother Manuel that has passed away.

So much has gone through me today that I just don't know what to feel.

I'm only writing right now because I need something more to do than sit and look at the wall with my family, friends and loved ones.

I thought today that I was going to come over to my mom's house and do laundry and hangout and not have to talk to police and the medical examiners office. I never thought I would have to look up funeral homes.

My mom carried that child with her, in her for 9 months and now she has to carry him to the ground and thinking about that alone breaks my heart.

This is such a traumatic and sudden event we are in the process of getting all the pieces of what happened as the day goes on.

People are so nice- that is what is killing me about today that everyone is giving us so much support and love. People are offering up anything and everything they can do for us and it just doesn't seem real yet.

I don't know how this is supposed to happen. How we are going to keep on going from now on. I wish there was a website that gave me a plan of what we are supposed to do from here.

Things are so bad about this situation I just needed to spit something up on the computer and go from there.

I feel like this isn't my life.

Our Lover's Days

I'm ehh over Valentines day because I truly love Ross everyday and gush about him 365 days a year and not just one. If I have a day off we would spend any day like we did this past Monday but on Valentine's day we eat everything we can in a heart shape.

Anyhoo these are some photos I couldn't help but take of our beautiful picnic and lovely weather.

WHOOPS!!!

Don't worry It is just Ross's hariy leg. Boy did this picture make me laugh...

Ross on the other hand was less than pleased.

By this time tommorrow I will be boarding a plane to NYC. I'll be blogging as much as I can to document and remember while I'm gone.

Lots of love lovers.

As some of you already know I am on my way to NYC at the end of this week.

If you don't know and would like to read a little more about it you can read about it here.

Anyways I'm leaving this Friday and have started a little blog to document my experiences as a delegate for the organization I'm going with as well as for student here at ASU. You can find it here.

I will also be posting some of the posts here while I'm away so that Ross can see it and you'll can read about it. I'll be posting about some highlights from the trip as well as some problems or interesting situations I've dealt with so far.

AS of right now I'm hoping I'm not getting sick and trying to comprehend how cold it's gonna be in NYC.

A question out there for anyone in NYC:

Anything you really loved and would advise someone to do?

And how easy is it for a newbie to navigate public transportation with luggage in tow?

Happy day

The sun is shining!

I got a new haircut (it's a little Katy Perry inspired)

had some chai tea with boba

The news in Egypt...

this day is BEAUTIFUL!

PLUS when I got home not one but TWO of my books had come in from amazon

The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo

Little Bee

(I needed some great airport and down time books for my upcoming trip to NYC!)

Oh yeah- this time next week I'll be getting ready to go to NYC and boy am I excited

(I had to figure out what business casual was and now I want to do like 10 outfit posts on the stuff I ended up finding)

anyhoo- I also got these fantastic business cards in the mail and am in love!

Thank You so much Brittany! You can see and shop all of here wonderful designs

HERE

Plus being the great friend that she is Brittany is profiling my shop on here site today so go check that out

HERE

PLUS tonight I'm hanging out with Ross's mom Suzanne and we're seeing a play.

Perfect Friday!! Have a great weekend lovers!

Not a happy camper.

I was in such a good mood

correction- Thankfully I'm a good mood everyday so

I was in my everyday mood when I heard some news.

Family members. medical stuff. not good

and it just makes me sad because I just don't know what to do?

where do I go from here, how can I contribute and make something happen that is worth while?

Do I cry? Do I make you cookies?

Do I blog?

I wish these things didn't happen but is there something I can do to help you?

(is that how I should ask them)

BLAHH

I'm very much in a contemplative place right now and I just hope we can all work through this.

At the end of the day we have to keep living right? Some people get to do great and wonderful things in their lives and others are sick (or they then get to do great and wonderful things while being sick)

I'm just going to offer my help, say I'm sorry, be there, hope for the best.

Pray to...science(?) that they can figure it out and start a blanket because I'll take my cues from southern women who, come hell or high water, have some fantastic quilts, yummy food, and a hand a hold when shit gets tough.

Etsy

MY NEW ETSY SHOP

Yeah I know I've posted about my brand new shop on Big Cartel but long story short I did not like big cartel after all (it sucked) and have since learned the error of my ways and have headed over to Etsy where I just opened up shop for the second time =0

So stop on over and check out all the new cool stuff happening over there and as a special treat for all come fly with me readers I'm offering free shipping for all orders booked this month!

Use coupon code: newshop

Also look out for some crochet items exclusive to the blog here (meaning not posted to Etsy but just available on this here blog)

Thank you Ross for helping my with all the photos and for snapping this picture of me and Mao who was watching us work the entire time.

In my best Casey Kasem voice...

"This one goes out to Ross Johnson from your girlfriend Marisela who says she loves you more and more day after day"

I love him just a little bit =)