Peanut Butter (Apple) Time

♥

I haven't had time to cook anything worth putting up here this week. I've been mostly just eating apples like my name was Johnny Appleseed and downing protein shakes to keep my bootie hopping at the gym and trying hard to stay away from the cheesecake in the fridge. I did, however want to spotlight how Uh-mazing apple and peanut butter is. It has been extra special to me these past couple weeks in the morning while on the run or lat eat night when I really just want to down a pint of Ben and Jerry's. Last night I added raisins into the mix and OMFG was that delicious.

I must be committed when I'm so IITGI that I'm thinking God for the invention of raisins and for the light bulb that went off in my head to add it into the mix.

So thank you apples. Thank you peanut butter. Thank you raisins. You make me like being and eating healthy so much more.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

In other thoughts I have some comments to the general public in light of my new found gym addiction.

To the girl with 3% body fat on the next elliptical machine:

Umm yeah don't give me that look that says "eat cake much" when I get on the machine two machines down from you. Yes I ate cake much, that is why I'm at the gym, and no not everyone has just 3% body fat...obviously I don't, that's why I'm sweating like a fat kid at summer camp two machines down from you!

To my fellow classmates:

I just came from the gym. Yes I know I smell. Yes I've been wearing these gym shorts for two days now. Yes I own a hair dryer and make-up but I'm not dating you, so no I'm not gonna use em right now and, yes I'm gonna come looking like hell to class. Sorry.

To Jillian Michaels:

So I bought your yoga DVD looking for something a little more relaxing than the 30 Day Shred but I should have know that with your face on the cover you were gonna turn yoga into something where you want to say "F*** This!" and not "Yamaste"

ps. I still hurt (in places I didn't know existed)

Hope you all have a fantastic Wednesday!

In the ZONE

I just got back from burning 700+ calories off at the gym and I love how good you feel there. I feel like I was left out of the cool kids club because no one ever told me what a high you can get from pumping it out on the elliptical. Don't get me wrong, I hurt right now and I really have to talk myself into going sometimes, but I just get into the zone when I'm there. It feels like it is just me and Lady Gaga leaving our hearts on the dance floor when I get in that zone.

Thank you, everyone for your sweet comments and inspiration on my last post. It means so much that I'm not in this alone. I have a community that holds me accountable. I feel like when it starts to hurt at the gym I can hear this amazing blog community telling me to take just one more stride and go for it.

I have always been the fat girl. Always. I was 5'7" and thick in 5th grade and by 7th grade I wore a size 12/14. In high school I wore a size 18 and at my worst (260 lbs) I should have been getting a size 20. I felt like I didn't deserve to do things that the thinner prettier people got to do or that I should settle on the opportunities I got. Settle on the people who would date me. Settle on the careers that were acceptable for how I looked. Settle for the outings my fat self felt comfortable in.

well fuck that!

This weight loss goal means so much more to me than just a number on my pair of jeans. It's the road to letting me finally be the best me I can be. If I want something, I can strive to be that, to do that, have that and never settle again. I used the way I looked and felt about myself to keep me from doing things that were challenging or from doing things/having things that I felt only belonged to the pretty people.

You know what I have learned these past couple weeks?

That I can finish workouts on the gym equipment.

That I can hold myself accountable for I eat.

That I can have whatever I want, no matter my size or shape.

I really like being in that zone. The gym at ASU has become my second home and boy does it make me happy to work out. Those endorphins are better than any drug out there and are keeping me sane. I just wish I would have found that out before, but the important thing is that I know it now. Thank you again IITGI and amazing fellow bloggers.

I hope your Monday is filled with self-realizations and if anyone in the Mesa/Tempe/Phoenix area wants a workout buddy I'm at the SRC every Monday/Wednesday/Friday. Just drop me a line at comeflywithme (dot) mari (at) gmail (dot) com

I'm gonna be in it.

No I'm not actually "In It" as in the blog but I'm am loving this blog and I'm gonna be in it to lose weight.

Today will be day two at the gym for me, going for 2-2.5 hours on the bike and elliptical (again thank you personal TVs!) and I'm saying it here that for my birthday and possible graduation party that I want to have a Kim Kardashian legs so I can wear a hoochie dress and sky high stilettos and I want visible clavicle bones...not sunk under fat as they are now. I'm gonna be really brave and post my weight on the side of the blog and then you can hold me accountable when I eat a whole box of Dunkin' Donuts and gain 3 pounds...fellow bloggers please tell me I have to get my butt to the gym!

The end goal? 170 or a size 8

(this coming from the girl who has always been a double digit size and at 170 for me that would be Giselle hott)

Together we can do it =)

and thanks In It To Gym It for relly making me want to buckle down and do this for real.