Maybe I'll do it if I tell you about it

me and my cousin Marisa January 2009

My 20th birthday is coming up along with fall and the holiday season (yay- I'm doing my first blogger ornament exchange here) and I had a little goal in mind for this birthday but I haven't really started or really said anything about it but if I write it here maybe it'll give me some backbone to do it.

Here is the story- January 2009 I was about a size 18-maybe I even got up to 20 during the holidays (and wow goodness knows I never thought I was going to be writing those numbers up here) but from January to June I lost about 40 lbs. and made it to the purchase of a size 12 pair of jeans (my mom had to restrain me from screaming in joy in the middle of the store). Cross out the bad days I've had and I've just about stayed the same in size since then. 12 wasn't my goal though...

What I would really want to do now though is make it to a number I really never thought I would see: 8. My goal for my 20th birthday would be to be a size 8.

Now it may seem like "8? that's still pretty big" but I'm 5'9" and my weight is pretty well spread out so for me an 8 would be like Giselle. Add my height to the fact that I've always been on the heavier side and 8 seems like Mt. Everest to me, even after all the weight I've already lost. I'm used to being big- I was never short or skinny and I've never looked young- people usually guess that I'm around 24 (that's before they hear me talk about Harry Potter or Spongebob Squarepants!) and for once being a single digit would make me feel normal- like all the other girls.

I'm still getting used to how I look now (most of the time, in my eyes, I don't see that anything has changed and that I still look the same) but making to an 8 would be indescribable for me. Coming this far was something I really never thought I would be able to do- but going all way would really mean something to me.

I guess why I'm blogging about this is because I just ate half a calzone and scarfed down a doughnut from work (I know- not my wisest choices since now I feel SICK!) so I figured I need more accountability and tips and advice to make it all the way. Since I've already lost some weight I find myself out of 'the zone' and thinking that it's okay to eat chocolate, bread, and a bunch of other not-so-good foods all the time. It's not okay to eat all that junk since if I start to go back to old habits it's not only unhealthy, I could end up gaining the weight I lost (maybe some more) and yo-yo dieting is seriously not good for my heart.

So buying a size 8 pair of jeans is something I really want to do. It may not be the wisest thing to start this right before the high holy days of eat-till-your-stomach-hurts-and-you-starts-groaning feasting but to make it the big 20 (out of my teens and out double digit sizes) would be the best birthday present I could give to myself- self confidence and better health.

me and Marisa March 2009

Do you have any goals you just might be to scared to go for?