Monday, February 22, 2010

sometimes wish

It's Monday and I am already tired. The weekdays are just too long and I'm really feeling exhausted some days. Is it worth it? yes I know it is but sometimes it gets so hard to just keep going...

I sometimes wish my parents weren't immigrants and that we had more money or knowledge when I was growing up...I would mean I wouldn't have to work so hard now

I sometimes wish I didn't have to work and could go out on Tuesday night like I see plenty of other college kids doing

I sometimes wish I could have gotten to live in the dorms and have more a 'normal' going away to college experience

I sometimes wish I didn't have to help raise my nephew, playing babysitter or handing out discipline or checking homework. I didn't sign up to be a part-time mommy at 20

I sometimes wish I could just let loose and forget my responsibilities, get shitfaced like everyone else...

Then I remember how selfish these things sound when I sometimes wish it and remind myself to be grateful for every single opportunity I get.

I thank my mom and dad for coming here and working sometimes horrible jobs and facing deportation and discrimination because they loved their future babies so much that they would do anything to give us a better life

I thank my job for giving me a chance to do something creative and for employing me and working with my school schedule so I can not be a huge financial burden to my family

I thank my parents, brothers and sister, teachers and friends for supporting me in each and every one of my scholastic endeavors. School can be tough but I am so thankful for every book I read, every lecture I go to, and every assignment I have here at ASU. Going to college has been my biggest dream since I was a little girl.

I'm so thankful I have a family that supports me in everything I do and I'm grateful to get to be there for the next generation. It takes a village to raise a child and now that I'm not a child anymore I relish my place as a villager and helping cousins, nieces, and nephews in any way I can.

I thank my mom for making me into a reason filled young women who realizes that at a party with a couple of strong drinks I can have that one night...but with a good education, strong moral fiber, and deep determination I can reach my goals and have for the rest of my life.

Sometimes I get into that woe is me category and start to bring myself down..

this post is to remind me to be grateful and thankful for everything I've had an opportunity to do and the great things I am blessed with in life.

Nobody can hold you back if you don't let them...

not even yourself.

I hope you have a fantastic Monday and have the strength to do great and big things this week.


Summer {Bisfor...} said...

this was beautiful. all of these trials that you are going through will make you a better person. the sacrifices that you are making for others and yourself now will pay off in the end. you cannot see it now, but it will. you are so amazing in every way!

Lindsay said...

This post made me smile!!! Everyone should be thankful for something every day :)

Rasha said...

Mari, best post ever. I love it. I agree with so much of what you said. LOVE you.

myownlittleuniverse said...

everyone gets in the woe is me funk at times and it is totally ok. it happens. everyone has their "stuff" that they wish were different. but we are all trying our best right!
i love that saying in the pic...perfect!!!

bananas. said...

So as i was reading this i kept thinking but wait...those are things to be grateful for and then tada you switched to being grateful.

There are many times i've wished the same things. Why couldn't life been easier, ya know? But had it was, then i wouldn't be the person that i am today. Same goes for you.

Great post mari! Xoxo.

Miss Caitlin S. said...

I think you deserve a little more than 5 comments for this post- it is so cute. I love the reality of feeling the feelings you feel blended with the true meaning of what is important in your life. I think we all have these flip sides. :)