Thursday, January 7, 2010

"Play the Game"

"Open up your mind and let me step inside
Rest your weary head and let your heart decide
It's so easy when you know the rules
It's so easy all you have to do
Is fall in love
Play the game
Ev'rebody play the game of love"

I've been wanting to write about this for awhile but the words never came and I feel that in blog world there are many capable daters out there that that understand the "game of love" that even maybe with the right words I would end up misunderstood. Lets start with the game of love... everyone can see it as that right? a game with strategies and tricks, cheaters, big winners, losers, and rules as to how the whole thing goes down. My first problem is where did this game come from? who made the rules and when were we supposed to learn then...

I was absent the day we learned the rules to the game of love

I am unaware of flirtation, impervious to pick-up lines and I think that guys can just be such nice guys sometimes! (never stopping to think it's because they're trying to get into my pants)

Case-in-point: When I met my ex boyfriend we were all just a random group of friends my first year in college. Close to Christmastime that year we did a secret santa exchange which had coincided with his growing feelings he had for me. As he held open doors, offered a jacket to shield me from the cold, carried my presents, and finally asked to escort me to my car so I wouldn't have to walk alone at night- I just thought he was a really nice guy...

that was until he tried to suck my face while opening my car door. I bobbed and weaved until I had landed safely in my drivers seat with the door closed talking to him through the glass. Nothing is worse than a surprise ambush kiss, especially when you are me and awkward as hell.

I don't know how to read the tells of my fellow players. I can't tell if their bluffing, or for real.
I never know when I should go all in..
or perhaps just fold and wait until the next hand is dealt

I know I can't be a spectator in my own game
At some point I have to take a gamble on love right?
It's those moment when you have your heart on the line, a handful of hopeful cards, that that heart starts to pound and the excitement floods into your body..

I still see myself as the tall goofy looking girl from highs school. Complete with books, viola, scripts in tow. I looked like I was 17 when I was 13, and about 22 when I was 17...I didn't really fit into the see of Taylor Swift look-a-likes at my school. I had one date in highs school; to prom and didn't have a real kiss or date until freshman year...

Those feelings of being not right, or odd, or not what is the norm I still carry with me and still threaten to derail any progress made in learning the rules of love. I'm too scared to pick up my cards because I feel like I don't belong at the table. Or when I do pick up those cards I'm playing go fish and asking if anyone has a 2 when the dealer is laying down the flop in a game of high stakes texas hold 'em.

The biggest reason I can't pick up those cards is that I still feel that sharp sting from the last round when just when I thought I was going to win it all, become the champion, I lost the hand, the pot to another, unworthy heart going along with it

If I could read a poker strategy book knowing it would help me in the game of love I would, but it won't. Instead I turn the tables to the blogsphere with an open appeal as to how can I do this?


I'm done telling myself that love is dumb and not worthwhile, that I am stronger than the foolishness involved in love. That romance is dead and I'm better off alone...

don't get me wrong I'm not desperate for a guy, I love being single, but being single is one thing and spinster cat lady is another. I already have a massive yarn collection...I don't want to have to get the cats

I'm just wanting some tips in how to survive in the game of love.

How do you play the game of love?


brittany said...

you crack me up. i'm emailing

Miss Caitlin S. said...

haha, well this would be step one! Understanding that you want it. I don't think anyone has the rules of love. I've had a lot of relationships and I think you just learn as you go. I've been selfish in them and I've been giving, I've treated them with respect and then sometimes I didn't - but you pick up the pieces along the way. And spinster? No, no, no! Impossible with your mug and style!

Rasha said...

Good post Mari... Def like the one I posted the love is a game... so I agree with all you have said...

We've talked about this, and I def. got to say that you have to COMPLETELY love yourself and know what you WONT settle for, and then go from there...

Laura said...

Ooft, woah. I think our brains were twinners today or something. This is weird... I guess all I have to say is on my blog, you've seen it... freaky.

bananas. said...

i cheat. hahaha...juuuust kidding.

oh love, such a crazy thing. well i'm no winner or loser. i'm a hard ass which helps but i too have those awkward moments. makes for funny stories so i'll take it.

Kristin said...

Don't think of it as a game. When I stopped playing them is when I met my forever love. Cheesy, I know. Ah ha. I was with my ex for close to a decade and we played a ridiculous set of mind games. When I met the hubs...none of that was necessary!

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