new year new project

SO yesterday while just randomly looking across blogs I came across Secondsister Suaviloquy who had this crochet pattern on her site and a request for headbands...

her sister had worn the headband to an orphanage in Mexico and the girls there really like it but she just had the one. She is going to go back and this time hopefully go equipped with tons of headbands for everyone =) Go over to here for the pattern and details.

I might sell them as well for those non-crocheters who really like it and donate ALL the proceeds to the orphanage.

On another note it it NYE! I still don't know what I'm wearing or where I'm going- all I really know is that I'm gonna drink copious amounts of alcohol and come ready with as many jello shots I can make today. Plus it's my nephew's 12th birthday so I'm making cupcakes and hopefully catching some movie with the birthday group.

My 2009 was the most insane year ever. I hated this year but I think when I looks back it will be the one where I changed the most- and will then become good. Change , for the better, is what really marks a year for me and boy did I change this year...

and any wrong doing done to me was compensated by the most amazing blog freinds and RLF I've made these past couple months.

Stay safe out there and have an amazing time bringing in 2010!

Happy New Year's EVE!!

I love me some 666...

I am completely obsessed with 666 photography I look at these pictures and just dream and try, really hard, to figure out how I'm going to recreate the look for me! I then realize if I leave the house looking like a summer dia de los muertoes skull I might get a few weird looks but to hell with it!

New Years Resolution:

be more adventurous when it comes to fashion and looks. Take risks, be bold, dress how you really want to dress. Yeah the jeans and sweatshirts aren't going to cut it anymore honey!

see how amazing their photography is- my heart grows bigger and I get light headed just looking, dreaming, and thinking..

Fly me to the moon is one of my favorite songs and this picture just kills me!

can someone please make a giant paper mache/ cardboard cutout for my room??

I love, love, LOVE Dia de Los Muertos sugar skulls (so much I've got one on my arm!) these looks take the traditional sugar skull to a whole new level.

spring muertos, summer muertos

fall muertos, winter muertos

I need to get the feeling of these pictures into my style- if I look crazy so be it, but you can bet I will be h-a-p-p-y!

What are you going to be doing in the new year to reinvent yourself or create some more happiness?

Top 5 Tattoos (on my "to get" list)

I am sort of feeling those vibes of rebellions that wash over me in waves every once in a while. I lead a pretty straight-laced life so when the pressure mounts I usually let loose. My poison of choice you ask? I either get completely trashed (once every 14 months) get another piercing (at once point I was up to 15!) or my favorite, pick up a new tattoo.

I have planned to save my debauchery filled drunken night for New Years Eve, have become a total wuss in the past couple months when it comes to needles and am hopelessly too broke for a tattoo- So I compiled a wish list (I wish I was cool enough to have a shoe wish list or purse one but I'm, sadly, completely satisfied with my one huge tote and live in converse for comfort and to keep my 5' 9" giant self out of the sky)

Here we go the Top 5 Tattoos

on my "To Get" list:

#5

The flag of the state of Arizona in the shape of a heart

No matter how much I fell like I am going to die from the excruciating heat in the summer, or the hate of being surrounded by the fake tans and fake boobs that is Snottsdale, or by the fear of being trapped here- it's home, and "home is where the heart is". No matter how far I go or where I end up- I'll remember and carry with me my Arizona roots. Born an Arizonan. Raised an Arizonan. Die an Arizonan.

#4

A Pin-Up Zombie Tattoo

yeah you heard read right! Now the question is "why the hell would you want that?" For me it would mean beauty in all shapes, sizes, forms (human or not) would mean power and intelligence over love (she would be holding a heart in one hand and eating the brain!) because I don't ever want to lose myself, my independence, or equality for a man or for love- as I've seen happen before. It would also have Beatrice's line from Much Ado About Nothing "O God! that I were a man! I would eat his heart out in the marketplace!"

#3

A Paleta

YES! A popsicle! but better! I want a Mexican popsicle, paleta, with green, white and red sprinkles to signify the mexican flag. Every year for vacation we would go down to Tijuana to visit family and the highlight of each trip was getting to walk down to the Paleteria, or ice cream shop, with my mom and sister down the street and pick up paletas in the flavors of mango, or strawberry, pineapple or coconut all made with fresh fruit and from milk. It's those summer days with just us girls in Mexico that really made me fall in love with the country and culture.

#2

Day of the Dead Sugar Skull, Virgen de Guadeloupe, and Loteria cards sleeve

I already have the sugar skull on my left arm and am waiting for pictures from a photo shoot I did for a friend to post about the tattoos I already have, but I want to continue it down to a 3/4 arm sleeve. On my inner arm I want the Virgrn de Guadeloupe done in a traditional American tattoo style:

as well as some loteria cards around my elbow and some flowers to finish off the whole thing.

My plan is to do the full sleeve of popular Mexican iconography but all done in traditional American tattoo style. It just fell like me.

#1

A portrait of my mom

There are beautiful pictures of my mom from the 70's and one painted portrait of her at age 14 that would all be perfect for this. A simple black and grey portrait of her on my right forearm with filigree is my # 1 most wanted tattoo. Of course she hates the idea and I look so much like her when she was my age so hopefully it doesn't end up looking like a self-portrait- but I can;t think of a better way to carry around the person who means the most to me in this world.

These were my top 5 and rest assured there are plenty more on my mind. What tattoo's are going to make their way onto your top 5 list or someday skin?

In the midst of holiday revelry

I figured I should blog! I'm loving everyone's lovely posts on the spirit of Christmas and how they are celebrating and what they got but I wanted to post on the amazing time I've been having so far.

Yes I, Mari, put down the book, left the yarn at home, didn't bake like crazy or go all OCD batshit crazy on anybody and went out and had a blast

with my good friend Liz before Christmas,

with my mom, brother, and sister on Christmas day

yes I wore that! I got that I looked like a mexican Marylyn Monroe like 5 times! Next time I need bigger curls though- felt like a poodle all night long

with my friend Sandra for her 21st birthday party the 26th

must stink sometimes being a Christmas baby!

had a blast finding people who are as adamant as I am about proper lip balm application

"Is that my lip gloss is poppin? My lip gloss is cool"

Okay I lied I did bake something..

I made the cake!

Well lovies how are all your rocking holiday parties going??

Zebra Stripes

Going off my DYI high (the fumes from the bleach I think) I figured that we are right smack dab in the middle of all of these holiday parties that I should share how to do my favorite nails!

So I once went to the salon and got a manicure like this and after I saw what the nail tech did I figured I could do it at home

First pick a color and paint you nails one solid color- mine was ruby pumps from china glaze because I want to sparkle come Christmas day.

Next you take your "stripes" nail polish (don't use those weird pens they sell- won;t do the trick!) and use the picture of zebra stripes as a guide and sort of lightly squiggle it to about halfway across your nail.

Switch it and do the other side and keep alternating back and forth.

Repeat on all nails

The pictures are really hard to see and switches between "shades" but it was really hard to photograph- maybe next time i'll try doing this on white again- but that ruby pumps draws me in every time!

This is really super easy so please try it- do different colors and let me see how they come out!

I'm a "Do-It-Yourself" kind of girl...

Like reallly do-it-yourselfer..

and your looking at this and thinking "this must be like her what? 2nd time doing this?? no one's that dumb..."

yeah when it was blond like this before I bleached it every four weeks to get the roots..

every two weeks when it was fire engine red- to keep it fire engine red

and every other wash when it was hot pink..

and you think by now I would have learned how to not get that weird orange tint...

but I've just learned to love it (and not broke from the salon) instead...

(and you'll see that picture somewhere else too)

and just for fun and because it's almost Christmas and Tuesday...

These are the good days at work

Night Owl Hoots

Weekend was hardly a break with tons of work to be done but I'm staying positive and taking note of the blessings in my life.

On another note I still don't know about doing an etsy store or even selling my stuff but I did get the idea to make a blog for what I'm making so go check it out and please let me know what you think!

Night Owl Hoots

Creations

Lots of love and positivity out to my bloggie friends to make it this last week before Christmas!

And how was everyone's weekends!?!?!

Santa! I know HIM!!!

I got tagged by the lovely Brittany in the Christmas post

Q: What is your favorite Christmas movie?

A: Hands down Elf- I have never loved a movie as much as I love that one. The Holiday, White Christmas, Family Stone are really good too- but my family is pretty Mexican so I haven't seen most of the classics =(

Q: What is your least favorite Christmas movie?

A: I saw a pretty bad one on the Lifetime channel last week- Christmas in Paradise?? idk it sucked and knoe I'm wondering what I was doing watching the lifetime channel...

Q: What Christmas song(s) drives you crazy?

A: ugh any Brittany Spears, Christina Agulierra, or N'sync covers- just please don't do it tennie bopper bands

Q: What is your favorite Christmas song(s)?

A: The Christmas Song for sure- and I really like the Nightmare Before Christmas Soundtrack revisited- if that counts- but Amy Lee kills it in Sally's song. and Rise Against? oh yeah

Q: What is your favorite Christmas drink?

A: Peppermint Hot Chocolate!!! and anything with eggnog!

Q: What is your favorite Christmas memory?

A: Every year we spend Christmas Eve at my brother's house with his in-laws and family and one year my mom told a really bad penis joke but had no idea what that it was a really bad penis joke- she got the best looks from everyone and I don't think I've ever laughed that hard

She still to this day defends that her joke was innocent

Q: What is the best toy/gift you've received on Christmas?

A: The Christmas when I was four I got a porcelain mini tea set with painted Christmas scenes on them. I was instantly in love.

Q: What is the worst toy/gift you've received on Christmas?

A: I once got a Halloween sweater- I actually thought is was pretty funny.

Q: What do you LOVE about the holidays?

A: Like my mom, I like the food the most: tamales, pozole, cookies, atole,

I love the decorations and lights and shows that mean Christmas time: Nutcracker, Elf, Las Posadas

Q: What annoys you about the holidays?

A: Black Friday, cheeeeesy holiday episdoes- why can;t all Christmas specials be like The Office??

Q: Do you prefer a star or an angel on top of a Christmas tree? Or something else?

A: We have an Angel right now but I want a killer star- like super cool star

Q: What is your favorite family recipe at Christmas?

A: My mom's Tamales could save the world. seriously.

Q: Are you a Grinch or a Who at Christmas?

A: I'd like to think Who- but probably more often than not a Grinch =(

Q: Christmas light displays - Love them or hate them?

A: Love them so much, they make everything look so magical

Q: Santas at the mall - fun times or creepy?

A: CREEPY! thank you parents for never taking me!

Q: Christmas cards...do you send them?

A: pssst no. I don;t have it together like that

Q: What is the best thing about Christmas in your opinion?

A: making the tamales- we yell, and fight and everyone moans and groans but that's what makes my family so special

Q: What is the worst thing about Christmas?

A: Shitty Christmas commercials trying to pull out your heart strings to go buy their crap

Q; When do you put the tree up and take it down?

A:it goes up Black Friday and comes down n Three Kings Day

Q: Out of the 12 Days of Christmas, which item would you want your truelove to give to you?

A: I'll take those ten lords-a-leaping but those 12 drummers drumming on The Office looked pretty rad!

Q: Do you believe in Santa Claus?

A: No, sorry, I've wrapped all those present for too many years to give the fat guy all the credit

Q; What is your favorite smell at Christmastime?

A: turkey cooking or cookies fresh out of the oven!

Q: What would make you happy at Christmas this year?

A: meeting someone under the mistletoe?? hahha no for no fighting and good food.

I'm gonna tag Rasha at and this is what she said, Caitlin at Candyfloss and Persie, and Mrs. W at Keeping Up With the Westmorlands

"It looks like Christmas threw up"

I've made gingerbread houses for work as a display for the past three years. Add that into the all the hours I've worked decorating cakes since I was 16, holiday fun for me doesn't come in the form of one more thing I have to stick icing onto. (It comes in a cup of rum and eggnog, but that's a different post.)

What is really fun for me is watching my high school friend Sara and her sweet boyfriend Chad struggle to ice and decorate a gingerbread house. (try writing "happy birthday" using a bag of icing and see for yourself how fun it is)

All Chad cared about was the "structural integrity" of the house, meaning he globbed on icing for "support." He cared about that and eating everything he could.

Their looks of such fierce concentration had me cracking up.

Those windows are looking mighty purrty.

This is the part that kills me about these gingerbread house kits is how unrealistic the goal is.

Even my side came out messy- and I don't do messy...

well unless we're talking about my hair because I haven't had a hairstyle other than messy in weeks...

Nothing says "Merry Christmas" like a head of hair that resembles a dirty cotton ball.

Hope everyone has tons of holiday fun in the mad dash to Chritsmastime... we've got one week! So get your cookie cutters, wrapping paper, and turkey basters ready!

The Worst Final Ever

Is over and my winter break is finally here. In an effort to study for ENG 321: Introduction to Shakespeare me and Rasha got together and had a pretty epic study session/sleep over.

I brought cookie dough and we baked cookies and I ALMOST remembered to turn off Rasha'a oven... so until I learn how to not burn down her apartment I doubt I will be invited back!

Like the cookie jar?? yeah I though it was epic but Rasha insisted that "it keeps the cookies fresh a really long time" and "it was only a dollar!!"

Now I'm not really a studier since I, THANK GOD, tend to remember almost everything from lecture but this epic final included plenty of text identifications and a massive essay so I went to go learn from the master.

Rasha is insane with like 7 color stickie notes, 4 highlighters, and pens gallore.

I on the other hand was a bad student...

but I got pretty far on my pink candy cane scarf!

(psssst- hey would you buy this? and if so how much would you pay because my last post has somehow snow-balled into a possible etsy store or blog for my crazy craftiness)

The test was two of the worst hours ever but I got to spend tons of fun study time with Rasha and slept in their apartment on a doggie bed with my stuffed monkey! "man I love college"

Anyhoo I am so happy for the semester to be over (even if I'm sick!) and was given this beautiful award as my end of the year treat! Thank You RASHA!!

How can you not love Marilyn??

p.s. I won a giveaway hosted by craftaholics anonymous from Ciao Bella Boutique (I got the vintage style rosette headband)

oh p.p.s.! I turn 20 in like 3 hours so thanks above p.s. for the b-day gift!

ohhhhh and P.P.P.S.!!! I bought my MUSE tickets today! This band is like everything ohmyfreakinggod I love them sooo soo much! April 9th here I come!

and p.p.p.p.s. Muse is on SNL this saturday hooray!

Working Away

Firstly thank you for the lovely comments and kind words you've given me. It really means alot to be open up and be honest and get such loving people wishing me well. Thank you.

Also kudos to all the blog love going on around here, there are such amazing people out there going through hard times and even more amazing people supporting them and sending them all their loving.

I'm just one monstrous final away from freedom and about 6 gifts away from my handmade Christmas finish line. So while I turn my brain to mush trying to remember how Shakespeare dissects the role female chastity plays in the foundation of social scripts in Much Ado About Nothing, Ill be thinking about how much fun I had making this baby Sunday night.

It just took some broken jewelry, inexpensive finds, $3 starter kit, needle nose pliers, MUSE blaring from my radio and about and hour and a half to make it! It's going to take a lot of self control to keep this in my white elephant gift exchange basket and not yank it out of a family members hands, pull it over my head and run around the house screaming "I MADE IT! IT"S MINE!!"

Here's to loving the giving aspect of Christmas more than getting, to finishing the semester, and to making it a more positive-love-filled world!

Mole Eyes and a bit of reality.

This weekend I stopped feeling down and gloomy and did something about it. I did a girl's night with two of my favorite girls from high school. Sara and Sarski (Ashlee). We did something simple since we are simple girls, and flat broke from holiday spending, so our night started with light shopping at Michael's

Where Sarski promptly grabbed anything with glitter and started rubbing it on herself.

"Am I beautiful??"

Don't you love the look on Sara's face that says "what the heck are you doing?!?"

Then we came across these little beauties and had to pay homage to the goddess divine: Madonna. Oh and don't worry we do this every time we come.

Next we were off in search of ice cream (you know when it's like 50 degrees out and stuff) and took our traditional mole eyes picture.

"Mole eyes?" you ask, yeah well we laugh alot, like alot, when we all get together and I just kept noticing that Sarski's eyes get real tiny when she laughs. One day it got me thinking that she couldn't see when she laughed that hard, one question later, and lo and behold, miss sarsks totally "can't see shit" when we crack her up. Somewhere when me and Sara stopped laughing at Sarski's vision problems we started calling her mole eyes. Because ugh moles have small eyes?? yeah we don't think sometimes...

Since we don't have the time to get together as often now we have remember these moments..

with silly pictures =)

Thank you ladies for giving me a breath of fresh air this weekend and giving me hope and love to keep going this week.

To be honest (and since it's my blog, and I control how much I do or don't say, and how I write it and what "voice" I have- I want it to be authentic, to present the real thing. So for authenticity's sake I'm going to try to be open and honest- no pity party's here or want for attention k? just honesty) I've had a rough year. I lost weight, a sense of self, fell into a pretty deep depression, developed social anxiety and extreme nervousness, and at times become a real recluse holed up into my parents house. I look at where I am in life right now and think of this time as the"make it or break it" time. I know I'm going to look back and either say that this was the period in my life that made me; made me stronger, shaped me into a better person, OR I'm going to look back and see that this is where it all went downhill and all came apart...

I worry about what all these changes will do to me, to my future, to the point where I feel sick.

But that's just it I'm tired of being a nervous reck or worrying till my hair falls out (which I've noticed, is starting to) I want, I need to be do something about it. I just get lost in thought, lost in myself.

This year has been hard on me, and a lot of other wonderful people I know. My 20th birthday is this Friday and I just can't help but feel wrong about it. I'm in such a dark place sometimes that the thought of people wanting to notice me or celebrate something about me makes me feel sick. People ask me why I don't want to do anything. Why I'm not going out or having a party or why I even refused a birthday cake and simple family get together. I keep saying it's too close to Christmas and everyone is just too stressed out.

I say that because it sends the wrong message when you tell them it's because you don't think you can handle the love.

On days like these, I keep my ipod volume high, and have keep my head down and finely tuned to my book, until the world around me fades to 'mute' and I'm lost.

This summer they told me that life is such a beautiful and wonderful thing to waste, and yeah I'm still here, but I'm letting mine just pass me by. unlived.

sorry for such a weird post and I don't want pity or attention from it, I just wanted to feel like I was being honest with this. I started the blog as a sort of therapy to get over the anxiety I was getting meeting people or even communicating with them (there was a period in time where it felt like work, hard work, to mumble out a hello or a yes or no when anyone tired to talk to me) and if I'm just going to put on a plastic smile for everyone in the blogsphere then there really is no point then. It's about being real.