Growing Pains

Yesterday was just a bad day.

I've always been a really positive person or someone with an extra amount of resilience and I don't see there being any time for moping when you are looking to the future for opportunity.

Yesterday it got to me and it was just a bad day.

My camera died. No big problem, right? Not really until we couldn't find the charger anywhere

Ross might have left it the hotel well he was last on vacation

I was taking pictures of all the items that are going to be the opening line of my shop so that really bummed me out.

Then I slammed my thumb in the car door on my way to work and not only did it make me cry then, it throbbed all day and kept me from sleeping.

I'm sure the nail is gonna fall off and that puts my total nail count down to 18. damn.

Then work was sloooooow and filled with some difficult costumers,

but the cherry on top was an argument with Ross.

Yes I just posted about how happy I am but this was one of those arguments that I like to think of as a growing pain. You know when you have to tear down a wall to build a bigger room or when you were a kid and your legs would ache all summer but that was the year you grew three inches?? Those are growing pains and this argument was one of those that you have to take three steps back to take two forward, then another step back and then at the end three steps forward.

It was draining, and there was crying and pain and hurt going on but that's reality.

You love someone, you grow, you love, you have some growing pains, you love and you grow some more.

I almost wasn't going to post about it but I don't want to make it look like life is 100% amazing all the time- it isn't and I'm almost a little weary of blogs that are super positive all the time every post. My blog friends are like blog family and this is something I want to be genuine and that means telling you about the love, and the cute boots, and fun crafts but it also means posting about stress from school, relationship woes and tifs with friends.

Thank you for letting me be able to post about all this though- I've "met" the most amazing people here

On another note I do believe we may have found a substitute camera to take pictures with so I'm hoping tomorrow may be the day when I finally open up shop!

Mushy Gushy

I grew up thinking love was a fallacy.

Love was something that was made up like Santa Claus, the Easter bunny, or Daylight savings time just to waste my time.

"I wasn't going to do that fake stuff called love because I was going to go to school and be smart one day" I thought

Yet here we are, me and Ross, (living together in sin and so much in love) and I was proven the fool.

The things I've learned about love

by Marisela C.

Same Day

I didn't know that love meant you would take care of me. You take care of the dishes and the shampoo, and my bike.

From here

I didn't know that love would be so funny and that we would stay up until 3 am watching cat videos and you telling me stories about when you were a kid.

From here

I didn't know love would mean you would by me booze!

no- I didn't know love would mean you would make sure I had fun for once.

From here

I didn't know love meant you were it it. Even when being in it means biking home in the rain at two am with a broken flip flop. I didn't know that love would mean you trying to save my flip flop and I probably shouldn't have thrown it away.

Same Day

If you have been following for awhile- then you've been able to see this all happen and thank goodness for that because then I have other people to ask and make sure that this is real- that I'm not dreaming and that it's all really happened.

if not- you can see it happen from

here, here, here, here, here, here, to here

Hey Ross- I love you.

You've got a hold on me

I spent a beautiful Tuesday with Miss Rasha and took some pictures that I will blog about

I went and figured out school stuff so I was going to write about that

Or how I have a sewing room now!

The day I made it home with four shopping bags on my bike was something I wanted to mention too

Arizona and SB1070 have been on my mind alot and I never did post about it but I've wanted to

It's because you've got a hold on me...

via ♥

"I don't want you

But I need you

Don't want to kiss you

But I need to

Oh, oh, oh

You do me wrong now

My love is strong now,

You've really got a hold on me

You've really got a hold on me, baby."

I love being here in Tempe so much. It feels like I'm alive again.

the best date so far

All these crazy mixed up emotions have been great for my blog! I can't help but come here and write just about anything right now. I feel so expressive and open, even if some of the best post are unpublished and labeled "private", I feel so thankful that I have such amazing blog-friends who have helped in providing me this space!

It's love month and I feel like I should come clean about some of the amazing moments I've been having lately. Bananas is right about vague posts and frankly I don't like 'em either! That's why we blog! We do it share all the juicy details- right? What is going on right now is a little too fresh and green for me to be writing about it just yet on the internet- I'm trying real hard not to mess things up because I'm my world, I inevitably goof up and ruin things. I'm just gonna stay really happy and mum about the past couple weeks but I did want to write about the best date I've ever had. Try and give a little of all the mushy gusuy I've been feeling to you folks.

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It all starts here, at Egdefest of 07, a music festival they had about 5 minutes from our place in QC with acts like Flyleaf, The Bravery, Jimmy Eat World, Social Distortion, and Tiger Army. I went with my mole eyes girls, Sara and Sarskie and had a fantastic time just lounging around in the great weather and enjoying stellar music.

edgefest 07

We were all really excited to Jimmy Eat World and they came on just as the sun was setting and we shimmed our way up front- as far as we could. The shimmying up front was probably not the best idea because here I was momma hen, trying to protect my short friends from the mosh pit next door and from us being separated when a rouge crowd surfer suddenly comes crashing into Sara! I'm scared that she's hurt or bleeding and in talking to her, asking her if she's is alright I get a tap on my shoulder. I turn around and see this really handsome tall guy with dark brown hair, green/brown eyes, a Led Zeppelin t-shirt and a friendly smile. Wow. He asks me if my friend is alright, and I of course being astounded by how cute he is gurgle out something incoherent and grin like a fool before turning back to my friends and melting into a giant puddle. After melting, recovering with some small "battle wounds" from the crowd surfer, and some more dancing and jumping around my friend Sarskie points out that "there's this dude staring at you" and I turn around to see smile guy looking directly at me and I grin again like an idiot and re-melt. We did this turn back melt thing about 5 or 6 more times during the concert until Jimmy Eat World finished their amazing set and we hi-tailed it out of mosh pit zone before people started pushing each other again for a better spot for the next band. We're waiting right outside of the circle for some other friends when I see smile guy following me out and I brake apart from my group to talk to him. "Now or never, right?? Got to be brave" I tell myself.

Jimmy Eat World at Edgefest 07

"Hi, I'm Ross"

"Hey, I'm Marisela, nice to meet you"

"Nice to meet you too"

(God only knows what the heck we talked about for the next minute or too, I was trying to pat down my hair, not smell like stanky mosh pit people, and trying oh so hard to be super cool at the same time)

"Here let me give you my number"

"ok" (phone out-grabbing number)

"It was nice meeting you Marisela"

"You too Ross"

and then we walked back to our friends and I super melted one last time.

I didn't text him that night, I practically stuck my phone in the freezer to try and be coy and wait awhile. I lasted until the next evening, Sunday night where I texted him that "Hello" message and our phones just about blew up over the next couple days...

Cut to about four weeks later and about three dates in. It's a Thursday evening and I was living off campus with a family friend whose neighborhood had this huge man made lake in it and we are set to have a moonlit picnic right by it.

He shows up and just about every time I see him my heart feels like it's going to pop out my chest and I'm thanking God I chose not to eat anything because it would surly be coming up right now from how nervous he makes me feel.

We toasted some sourdough bread with a balsamic vinaigrette thing and pack up a picnic basket (that I had scrambled to get earlier that day) with some wine, cheese, the bread and a blanket that matched the picnic basket (that I made earlier that day too) I was so nervous and definitely feeling the butterfly with ever glance we sent each other's way.

We walk together, basket and acoustic guitar in tow, around the lake until we come to a spot where the moon is reflected and looks oh so big in the water and lay everything out. We drink some wine, eat cheese and have some great conversation. After a bit I request some music and he pulls out his guitar and just starts playing and OMG am I in love with how good he is. By far the best guitar playing I've ever heard and after I ask him what he is playing I get a "oh I'm just sort of making it up" response and die a little more at how amazing he is.

Then it hits me. Here we are sitting on nice warm blanket, under the moonlight by this beautiful lake, sipping wine and I'm getting serenaded by the most incredible guitar playing I've ever heard. "How lucky am I to be living in a movie" I think to myself because it was all just so perfect that It could only be a dream.

The rest of the night was equally special and I'd like to save it for me to keep but I'll just say we talked a whole lot more, kissed like crazy and got caught in the sprinklers just like in the movies.

♥

However cute that night was we didn't last. We went on a couple more dates and made it official too soon. We ended up wanting different things; me, this being my first real time dating wanted a relationship and commitment; him, just getting out of a serious relationship wasn't looking for something so concrete so fast. I took it a little bad when things ended because he had been pretty much been everything I was looking for in guy. He's really tall, smart, well read, funny, into great music, sweet, romantic, and original, so I kept my crush on him for a while and we ended up staying friends and keeping in touch over myspace and facebook and the occasional text messages so things turned out pretty well.

About 2 and half years later and still nothing has come close to being as sweet or memorable a night as that Thursday night moonlit picnic...

Well that was until this past Valentine's day, or how I like to call it "The Best February 12th Ever", since I wasn't quite expecting to do anything for Valentine's day.

And here's the funny part the sweet guy who took the time to plan out such a great night as February 12th for me? Yeah his name is Ross.

I guess it pays off when you part relationships amicably and stay in touch. =)